The APFT That Almost Was

Second semester APFTs (Army Physical Fitness Tests) are always such a joy, especially at the beginning of the semester when the weather is never in your favor. 3 events, 2 min of pushups, 2 min of situps, and timed 2 mile run. Each event worth 100 points, but an extended scale exists. (Personal best was 335 junior year) On paper it looks good enough, three APFTs spread across the semester with the first one in February (post-winter break #yeasuretotallyranathome). What the paper doesn’t say is that weather sucks in DC in February at 0540 and command hates to let people off the hook before 0500. Yes thats AM. So the first APFT is scheduled for Feb 11, but its stupid cold (20 degrees) so its cancelled and MSIVs are sent to lift weights while Is-IIIs take a mock APFT in the gym. Wooooooo #ArmsDayEveryDay

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But the test is rescheduled for the 17th (Today). Now MSIVs are famous for complaining about why they don’t need to take the APFT (it doesn’t matter for us), coplaining about the cold/weather (again why suffer when it doesn’t matter for us), and/or trying to convince higher up that it should be cancelled altogether. Higher never wants to cancel. Even if it rains the day before and the temperature drops below freezing that night. Rain + Cold = Ice  patches on the track. Obviously unsafe. But lets not call it off before hand. Lets ship everyone from the four DC schools to the track at an ungodly hour, I woke up at 0420, then realize the above equation is true. Cool. Now lets stand around for an hour and debate whether we’re tough enough to ignore safety and finally send everyone back home. Morning well spent. Now we’ve wasted our morning, two weeks of missed gym time, and sleep, oh so precious and scarce sleep. It’s cool though, nbd, not mad at all. #sleepisfortheweak 

But the APFT will be pushed until its a week before next month’s APFT, and we’ll still have to take both. But hey, at least it doesn’t matter for us.

Cadet Captain Crunch

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